Thoughts and meditations

Shekinah

2011-12-18T23:29:00.000-08:00

Did not post this back when it happened. So posting now.

February 28th 2009 I attended a spirituality retreat out side of Las Vegas at the Methodist Potosi Pines camp. First thing in the morning I got up and took a short walk and did a little meditation. Breakfast was at 8:30 and I met the others in the main building and had a nice relaxing breakfast.

At 9am the program started. Soft guitar music and a slide show presentation where given to help set everyone in a restful mood. The slides were of flowers and really did help. After a bit I closed my eyes to sit and listen to the music. Some people sang and others sat quiet.

While sitting there and moving into a meditative state I began to think about G_d and how I had problems with him. For quite a while now I have been angry with G_d and his absent father motif. As I sat I had an ecstatic experience. I saw a woman approach and knew immediately it was the Shekinah. I could see myself below and she was in the air above me as I looked on from the side. She did not speak a word but held out her hand to me. She was wearing a white or off-white flowing gown that looked almost like a medieval cotehardie. She looked like a northern European and I noticed she had medium blue eyes and a slender face with a small nose. As far as I could tell she also had blonde hair. I wondered at the time why she would not have looked like she came from the Middle East.

She wanted me to go with Her. To take Her hand. I wasn't ready at that point. But I had the distinct impression that Her hand was there for me to take when I was ready.

As I looked at her while she held out her hand I could see her face clearly and wished I was a good enough artist to draw it. The whole scene was very peaceful. I know in real time it took very little time at all but while in the state it seemed to go on for quite a while until the vision faded.

What it all meant I'm not sure but will be meditating on this experience to find what meaning it has to offer.

At times now I wonder if when I take Her hand if I will pass to the next existence. I get this impression at times. But I know that I am totally accepted by Her. Unconditionally.

Homosexuality and Paul?

2011-11-29T10:45:00.001-08:00

Just found out about a new study of Greek and the writings of Paul on the subject of homosexuality. I have always maintained that his denouncing of homosexuality was for homosexual rituals or the exploitation of slaves. Some new study on this helps to confirm my belief. Check out the following:

Internationally Acclaimed Cryptographer Cracks 2000-Year-Old Biblical Paradox, Finding the Apostle Paul Accepted Christian Homosexuals

First realwinter snows

2011-11-07T07:38:00.000-08:00

The past few days we've been getting our first real winter snows. Not sure I am ready yet. Sigh. LOL

Except for the cold I do like snow. It is so clean and fresh after the ground is covered with the white.

I am continuing along with the Paleo Diet. I fall off the wagon every now and then but trying to get down below 200 lbs. I'm at 214 and want to lose another 4 lbs before I go in for a stress test in a couple of weeks. My son T is impressed with some of the info we have from the book the Paleo Diet for Athletes. I think I may be able to get him to eat a little better. If we do it together it will be easier. Athletes can augment their diet with carbs because of their high energy expenditure.

Ran across this quote...

2011-10-26T14:07:00.001-07:00

‎"It happens all the time in heaven,
And some day
It will begin to happen
Again on earth -
That men and women who are married,
And men and men who are
Lovers,
And women and women
Who give each other
Light,
Often will get down on their knees
And while so tenderly
Holding their lover's hand,
With tears in their eyes,
Will sincerely speak, saying,
"My dear,
How can I be more loving to you;
How can I be more
Kind?"
--Hafiz (died ~1388 A.D.)

Letting go

2011-09-14T15:38:00.001-07:00

Letting go is a very important concept. When we hold things in for too long they can start to fester and then explode out in unproductive ways.

Dreams

2011-08-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

So last night I killed a man in my dreams. Something bubbling nicely to the surface.

Dawn.

I see the other standing there. White shirt. Sword in hand. Our seconds are somewhere. We approach each other. Watching each other. Looking for the tell tale sign of attack.

He moves quickly at me and tries to cut the left side of my neck I parry and push my point past his head and draw it back sharply cutting his cheek to the bone. I think to myself. Now how will the ladies like you?

He steps back as my blade fillets his face and then I methodically start my advance. I strike left and right. Blade wheeling and cascading towards him. He just barely defends each stroke. On one cut to his left cheek I slide my blade off his and then thrust to his right eyes. He raises his hand too far as I knew he would and I step quickly to the right and turning my hand I avoid his defense and cut deeply into his right thigh.

He turns as best as he can and throws a blow to my left neck again. I cut into his attack driving his sword down and away from me. I stand there. Looking at him. Grinning. He swings his sword in a wild arc desperately trying to kill me or at least drive me off for a moment. I raise my sword and catch his blade near my guard and I drive the point forward over his arm to his chest. I can feel the steel start to sink in and his eyes go wide. I press further and he tries to back up as he staggers. I step forward and grasp his should and give one last push. I can see his eyes. He looks at me almost as if he would say something and then the light goes out in his eyes. He is gone. Finally gone.

The Tapestry of life

2011-07-02T21:18:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how things weave themselves into ones life. A chance encounter that sparks something. Sets one on another track. Or brings out something that causes introspection and then change. Life should be experienced and reveled in. Not feared. Not wasted.

When people come into our lives, do we give back? Do we share fully with them or do we hold something back?

Do we allow ourselves to be touched? To share? Do we allow people in?

Spirituality to me is the ability to open ourselves and commune with others. To do that we need to let them in.

Great quote

2011-06-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

"If the glory of God is intelligence...then asking questions is the truest path." - Janice

This really is true. If there is a God, he/she/it then made us the way we are, intelligence included. It also made us with our sexual drives and gender identity. That being the case, why penalize us for using our brains and wanting someone to love, even if they are of the same gender as we are?

Life

2011-06-15T13:20:00.000-07:00

I am a child of nature. This is not a bad thing as some religions would tell you. This makes me part of the world around me.

How can I live in this world and help to take care of it without sensing that connection to it?

How can I experience life without touching nature, communing with all that lives around me, loving those I come in contact with?

How can I?

I am. Simply. I am. What more can one say?

If we can truly figure out who "I am" is, and I am not talking about any kind of god, but who we truly are, perhaps we can figure out how to fit within the world around us.

I am a humanist. An agnostic. A lover of nature and my fellow homo sapiens.

What are you?

What is it about humans that they need magical thinking?

2011-05-22T10:37:00.000-07:00

Well the hubub of the Rapture Day and subsequent lack of rapture on May 21st is just another example of magical thinking not working. People have lost their savings, alienated family and damn near died just because of this magical thinking. When will homo sapiens move past magical thinking and relegate god to the same status of Santa?

The Wisdom of Frank Zappa

2011-05-11T10:19:00.000-07:00

"My best advice to anyone who wants to raise a happy, mentally healthy child is: Keep him or her as far away from a church as you can." — Frank Zappa

Apologetics?

2011-04-29T11:37:00.000-07:00

Why are apologetics necessary? I was thinking about that today. My take is that they are necessary to defend the indefensible and to maintain a magic mindset. When religion and science collide the normal person off the street may start to question. So up pops the apologist to explain things away using circular logic and pseudoscience so the lay person can feel good about their religion again.

If a religion is true it should stand the test of time and should not conflict with science. That is, it should not conflict with the geographic record, the archaeological record, biology,etc.

As I have said before, if God hides things he is a trickster and not worth worshipping.

Stress

2011-04-23T18:05:00.000-07:00

Why do we let things get to us. Or specifically why do I let things get to me. The director of the department I work in made me out to be a terrible person in front of the rest of the people int he department. It stressed me out so bad that I began to have stress induced angina. It happened before the class I teach and I had to sit for a little while in the locker room shaking before I could go to teach. I don't know why it affected me as much as it did. Maybe because after problems in the past and extensive talk with a third party I thought things were good. The person is plain socially inept. Luckily I am not the only one who thinks so. Others in the department have stated the same thing.

Its two days later now and I feel better. It happened on a Thursday and I told my supervisor I was not coming back to work till after Easter.

So what makes the physiological affect that I had?

What kind of liberal am I?

2011-04-15T21:51:00.000-07:00

My Liberal Identity

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-based thought reign supreme.

Take the quiz at
About.com Political Humor

Magical Thinking

2011-04-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'll be blunt. Religion can kill. Yeah yeah. We know that only people kill people (or nature etc). How can religion kill people? By the belief in the magical mindset.

A friend was recounting a poor mother who had cancer and instead of getting proper care she used homeopathic treatments and prayer. Guess what? She has two weeks to live.

Such is the problem with magical thinking. As we know, magic is all smoke and mirrors. It is a deception. And unfortunately the people who buy into this magical mindset as it comes to religion are the ones that suffer in the end. My heart goes out to the children of this woman who will be indoctrinated into this same mindset.

Religion kills.

So here I am... Thinking about apologists

2011-03-29T12:26:00.001-07:00

I ran across an interesting way of describing the difference between apologists and critics. I'm rephrasing it (i.e. eating the book and making it my own...) to bring out my take on it.

A Mormon apologist wrote an article entitled 'What critics don't understand' ... The article implies that critics cannot understand the position of believers. That the "spirit" is the true test of knowledge. But is this a valid epistemological undertaking or belief?

The apologist or believer relies upon their testimony for "truth." Despite what the facts may say to the contrary.

And so the critics do understand this. And many critics were once in the same position, but let reason trump testimony. Critics understand that testimony is subjective, emotional, and lacking in reason. What the apologists and believers do not understand is that they are lacking reason, understanding and objectivity.

More disappointment

2011-03-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Well last week my heart procedure failed. They could not remove the blockage from my RCA. And then in recovery my left femoral blew. They had to quickly put this painful device on me to keep me from bleeding out. I ended up laying flat for close to 10 hours. My back hurt so bad I wanted to cry. And now I am walking funny and am bruised from my navel to my knee on my left side. And it hurts.

The doc wants to try again but I don't know if I want to. Sometimes I'd like to just lay down and not wake up.

Disappointment

2011-03-17T07:56:00.000-07:00

How do we deal with disappointment?

I have always used food in the past to deal with stress and disappointment. This time around I'm not going to. But what to fill the void not eating? This is always the hard part. So, will try to use exercise to do that as I am desparately trying to lose weight.

I have read quite a bit about low carb diets. I started one about a month agoand then got sick. Before getting sick I had actually started to lose weight. My friend Sandi told me about a program begun by a group of trainers who appear to have done their homework. They have a book and consulting and i will give their system a try. A consulting cardiologist that I have seen advised me to use a low carb diet. Apparently diets rich in carbs, which is what I was on, leads to diabetes and all sorts of problems. Especially with a lot of sugars. So am giving the low carb a try.

And keeping a positive outlook.

Hawaiian pidgin English Lord's prayer

2011-02-27T13:10:00.001-08:00

"God, you our Fadda.
You stay inside da sky.
We like all da peopo know fo shua how you stay,
An dat you stay good an spesho,
An we like dem give you plenny respeck.
We like you come King fo everybody now.
We like everybody make jalike you like,
Ova hea inside da world,
Jalike da angel guys up inside da sky make jalike you like.
Give us da food we need fo today an every day.
Hemmo our shame, an let us go
Fo all da kine bad stuff we do to you,
Jalike us guys let da odda guys go awready,
And we no stay huhu wit dem
Fo all da kine bad stuff dey do to us.
No let us get chance fo do bad kine stuff,
But take us outa dea, so da Bad Guy no can hurt us.
Cuz you our King.
You get da real power,
An you stay awesome foeva.
Dass it!"

What would Jesus not do?

2011-02-21T16:02:00.001-08:00

Religion

2011-02-09T07:36:00.000-08:00

Quotes by MIKHAIL BAKUNIN,

All religions, with their gods, their demi-gods, and their prophets, their messiahs and their saints, were created by the prejudiced fancy of men who had not attained the full development and full possession of their faculties.

Freedom, morality, and the human dignity of the individual consists precisely in this; that he does good not because he is forced to do so, but because he freely conceives it, wants it, and loves it.

From the naturalistic point of view, all men are equal. There are only two exceptions to this rule of naturalistic equality: geniuses and idiots.

He who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy.

The first revolt is against the supreme tyranny of theology, of the phantom of God. As long as we have a master in heaven, we will be slaves on earth.

How about a nice hymn to sing!

2011-02-07T15:29:00.001-08:00

Evolution Made Us All from Ben Hillman on Vimeo.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

2011-01-31T09:48:00.000-08:00

Since my surgery in December, I have had increased energy, less angina and have been able to do more. They placed two stents in my circumflex and my surgeon is going to work on my right coronary in March. If they can fix that one too then I will be in really good shape for a while. I just then needs to keep the arteries clear.

Sometimes I wonder why we have to go thru things like this? Just the luck of the draw?

Mormon Morality

2011-01-19T12:26:00.000-08:00

Another good quote today by Stephen Fonnesbeck.

"The whole fantasy of virtue as it's applied to sexual virginity is more important in the church than, moral excellence; goodness; righteousness; conformity of one's life and conduct to moral and ethical principles; uprightness; rectitude or just simply not being a lying cheating bastard. No, with the church, it's all about SEX! As if sex is the end all be all of morality. When ever I hear the word morals spoken of by anyone in the chruch, they are automatically talking about sex."

Uniforms

2011-01-12T12:51:00.000-08:00

In regards to the Mormon Church's dress codes I saw the following quote by Matt Elggren:

"The uniform for men is an expression of their alignment with authority. The uniform for women is an expression of their submission to authority."

What is a Lamanite?

2011-01-03T15:19:00.000-08:00

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Shekhina

2011-01-03T10:26:00.000-08:00

Back in 2009 I had an interesting experience.

Here is what I wrote last night about the experience.

February 28th 2009 I attended a spirituality retreat out side of Las Vegas at the Methodist Potosi Pines camp. First thing in the morning I got up and took a short walk and did a little meditation. Breakfast was at 8:30 and I met the others in the main building and had a nice relaxing breakfast.

At 9am the program started. Soft guitar music and a slide show presentation where given to help set everyone in a restful mood. The slides were of flowers and really did help. After a bit I closed my eyes to sit and listen to the music. Some people sang and others sat quiet.

While sitting there and moving into a meditative state I began to think about G_d and how I had problems with him. For quite a while now I have been angry with G_d and his absent father motif. As I sat I had an ecstatic experience. I saw a woman approach and knew immediately it was the Shekinah. I could see myself below and she was in the air above me as I looked on from the side. She did not speak a word but held out her hand to me. She was wearing a white or off-white flowing gown that looked almost like a medieval cotehardie. She looked like a northern European and I noticed she had medium blue eyes and a slender face with a small nose. As far as I could tell she also had blonde hair. I wondered at the time why she would not have looked like she came from the Middle East.

As I looked at her while she held out her hand I could see her face clearly and wished I was a good enough artist to draw it. The whole scene was very peaceful. I know in real time it took very little time at all but while in the state it seemed to go on for quite a while until the vision faded.

What it all meant I'm not sure but will be meditating on this experience to find what meaning it has to offer.

What if?

2010-12-30T18:20:00.000-08:00

What if your religion is not true?

A Saying of Buddha

2010-12-02T11:35:00.001-08:00

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
-The Buddha

Great new word

2010-10-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

1. godshopped

October 1, 2010 Urban Word of the Day

The manipulation of scientific data to provide evidence for intelligence design.

Example:
Did you watch that beautiful episode about intelligent design?

Yeah, as usual, the producers totally godshopped all the complex images of nature and left out rational explanations provided by evolution.

What a concert!

2010-09-27T15:30:00.000-07:00

I saw Michael Franti and Spearhead last night in concert. OMG! The show was brilliant! Franti has so much energy and really works with the audience. He even comes off stage and sings right with the fans! I have to say I admire the man. he does a lot of work with people in 3rd world countries. He is the type of activist that I only wish I could be. Fantastic.

His new album is a real treat to listen too. the title track, the sound of sunshine is very uplifting. Franti has talent that is for sure. If you ever have him come thru your town, take the time to see the group perform.

Imagine

2010-09-22T12:00:00.001-07:00

Want out of the LDS Religion?

2010-09-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

Fill in the blanks and send the following email to: dodgegw@ldschurch.org

My name is ____________. My birth date is __________. I was baptized and confirmed on __________________. I hereby resign my membership from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I hereby terminate my consent to be treated as a member of said church and I withdraw my consent to submit to the church's beliefs and ecclesiastical disciplinary procedures. You must now treat me as a nonmember in all your dealings with me. From this day forward, I expect that my name will be removed from all church records, and that I will not be contacted by any church representatives for any reason, except via email verification of the receipt of this resignation.

Saw this post today on a discussion board

2010-09-15T18:35:00.001-07:00

It was in relation to a Muslim center being built near ground zero in NYC.

"I, like many others, are repulsed by the mindless tea party crowd! As we've witnessed so many times in the past/present, politics/religion are an unhealthy alliance that breeds extremists who are volatile, dangerous people! Reason is thrown to the wind, rights are selectively marginalized, freedoms are denied/ Government is villainized! In our world, conservative republican, right-wing fringe paranoia is reinforced by mindless, vindictive, hateful rhetoric/bigotry! Their message is loud/clear! These divisive purveyors of hate care about themselves/ their agenda exclusively... the rest be damned! Rebuttal to this disgusting mindset is required, must be convincing, to the point/capable of clearly exposing a low-life agenda so all can plainly see who they are/what they are about! These fanatics cannot be allowed to spew hate without consequence! Rational people, muslim community, State/Local Governments are trying to undo the damage that has been done! We'll have to see how it all works out! "
victim

One video I saw was a person I know talking to Fundie Christians at the site. They wanted to have mosques banned all over the US. What about our rights and freedoms in America? That goes against the constitution and bill of rights. The fundies are their own flavor of the Taliban. Just a Christian one.

2010-09-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

Saw a neat quote that really says it all about apologists.

AngelicFerret:

Evidence only counts if it confirms your beliefs.

Apologists have everything to lose when it comes to belief about their beliefs. They will count evidence only if it confirms their beliefs but will deny it is it does not.

2010-09-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

Great quote that I read today...

"When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped int the flag and carrying a cross." -- Sinclair Lewis 1835

I believe it. When we look at the Christian Right and what they want to do, it is nothing short of fascism.

http://www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Fascist-Palin-and-Tea-Party.jpg

Gonna get a broken heart fixed

2010-09-02T13:14:00.000-07:00

My cardiologist agreed to do bypass surgery on me in December. We're waiting to the end of the semester so I can teach my class with hopefully no interruption. Having daily angina but can manage it at this point. Trying to exercise more and lose some weight to get ready for the procedure. It is a minimally invasive arterial bypass. My circumflex is completely blocked. So hopefully by Christmas I get a new lease on life.

religion really is a problem.

2010-08-25T09:56:00.001-07:00

Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you’d have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.” ~ Steven Weinberg

Apologetics

2010-08-22T19:19:00.000-07:00

Religious apologists are some very interesting people. It is amazing to me what hoops they jump through and how they convolute things to help "prove" their beliefs.

Here is one of their techniques...

Proof by verbosity - a rhetorical technique that tries to persuade by overwhelming those considering an argument with such a volume of material that the argument sounds plausible, superficially appears to be well-researched, and it is so laborious to untangle and check supporting facts that the argument might be allowed to slide by unchallenged.

They also like to use the proof by resorting to smarter people...

"I am smarter and far more well-read than you are. Leave these troublesome matters to your spiritual and intellectual superiors. Go back to reading your faith promoting material and 'strengthening your testimony'- there is nothing to see here."

Orthodox Jews not condemning homosexuals

2010-07-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I found this on a board that I frequent and then did a search on the web and it appears to be bonifide. Maybe Christians and especially Mormons should take a lesson from these Rabbis etc.

Statement of Principles on the Place of Jews with a
Homosexual Orientation in Our Community

We, the undersigned Orthodox rabbis, rashei yeshiva, ramim, Jewish educators and communal leaders affirm the following principles with regard to the place of Jews with a homosexual orientation in our community:

1. All human beings are created in the image of God and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect (kevod haberiyot). Every Jew is obligated to fulfill the entire range of mitzvot between person and person in relation to persons who are homosexual or have feelings of same sex attraction. Embarrassing, harassing or demeaning someone with a homosexual orientation or same-sex attraction is a violation of Torah prohibitions that embody the deepest values of Judaism.

2. The question of whether sexual orientation is primarily genetic, or rather environmentally generated, is irrelevant to our obligation to treat human beings with same-sex attractions and orientations with dignity and respect.

3. Halakhah sees heterosexual marriage as the ideal model and sole legitimate outlet for human sexual expression. The sensitivity and understanding we properly express for human beings with other sexual orientations does not diminish our commitment to that principle.

4. Halakhic Judaism views all male and female same-sex sexual interactions as prohibited. The question of whether sexual orientation is primarily genetic, or rather environmentally generated, is irrelevant to this prohibition. While halakha categorizes various homosexual acts with different degrees of severity and opprobrium, including toeivah, this does not in any way imply that lesser acts are permitted. But it is critical to emphasize that halakha only prohibits homosexual acts; it does not prohibit orientation or feelings of same-sex attraction, and nothing in the Torah devalues the human beings who struggle with them. (We do not here address the issue of hirhurei aveirah, a halakhic category that goes beyond mere feelings and applies to all forms of sexuality and requires precise halakhic definition.)

5. Whatever the origin or cause of homosexual orientation, many individuals believe that for most people this orientation cannot be changed. Others believe that for most people it is a matter of free will. Similarly, while some mental health professionals and rabbis in the community strongly believe in the efficacy of “change therapies”, most of the mental health community, many rabbis, and most people with a homosexual orientation feel that some of these therapies are either ineffective or potentially damaging psychologically for many patients.
We affirm the religious right of those with a homosexual orientation to reject
therapeutic approaches they reasonably see as useless or dangerous.

6. Jews with a homosexual orientation who live in the Orthodox community confront serious emotional, communal and psychological challenges that cause them and their families great pain and suffering. For example, homosexual orientation may greatly increase the risk of suicide among teenagers in our community. Rabbis and communities need to be sensitive and empathetic to that reality. Rabbis and mental health professionals must provide responsible and ethical assistance to congregants and clients dealing with those human challenges.

7. Jews struggling to live their lives in accordance with halakhic values need and deserve our support. Accordingly, we believe that the decision as to whether to be open about one’s sexual orientation should be left to such individuals, who should consider their own needs and those of the community. We are opposed on ethical and moral grounds to both the “outing” of individuals who want to remain private and to coercing those who desire to be open about their orientation to keep it hidden.

8. Accordingly, Jews with homosexual orientations or same sex-attractions should be welcomed as full members of the synagogue and school community. As appropriate with regard to gender and lineage, they should participate and count ritually, be eligible for ritual synagogue honors, and generally be treated in the same fashion and under the same halakhic and hashkafic framework as any other member of the synagogue they join. Conversely, they must accept and fulfill all the responsibilities of such membership, including those generated by communal norms or broad Jewish principles that go beyond formal halakhah.
We do not here address what synagogues should do about accepting members
who are openly practicing homosexuals and/or living with a same-sex partner.
Each synagogue together with its rabbi must establish its own standard with
regard to membership for open violators of halakha.
Those standards should be applied fairly and objectively.

9. Halakha articulates very exacting criteria and standards of eligibility for particular religious offices, such as officially appointed cantor during the year or baal tefillah on the High Holidays. Among the most important of those criteria is that the entire congregation must be fully comfortable with having that person serve as its representative. This legitimately prevents even the most admirable individuals, who are otherwise perfectly fit halakhically, from serving in those roles. It is the responsibility of the lay and rabbinic leadership in each individual community to determine eligibility for those offices in line with those principles, the importance of maintaining communal harmony, and the unique context of its community culture.

10. Jews with a homosexual orientation or same sex attraction, even if they engage in same sex interactions, should be encouraged to fulfill mitzvot to the best of their ability. All Jews are challenged to fulfill mitzvot to the best of their ability, and the attitude of “all or nothing” was not the traditional approach adopted by the majority of halakhic thinkers and poskim throughout the ages.

11. Halakhic Judaism cannot give its blessing and imprimatur to Jewish religious
same-sex commitment ceremonies and weddings, and halakhic values proscribe individuals and communities from encouraging practices that grant religious legitimacy to gay marriage and couplehood. But communities should display sensitivity, acceptance and full embrace of the adopted or biological children of homosexually active Jews in the synagogue and school setting, and we encourage parents and family of homosexually partnered Jews to make every effort to maintain harmonious family relations and connections.

12. Jews who have an exclusively homosexual orientation should, under most circumstances, not be encouraged to marry someone of the other gender, as
this can lead to great tragedy, unrequited love, shame, dishonesty and ruined
lives. They should be directed to contribute to Jewish and general society in
other meaningful ways. Any such person who is planning to marry someone of
the opposite gender is halakhically and ethically required to fully inform their
potential spouse of their sexual orientation.

We hope and pray that by sharing these thoughts we will help the Orthodox
community to fully live out its commitment to the principles and values of
Torah and Halakha as practiced and cherished by the children of Abraham, who
our sages teach us are recognized by the qualities of being rahamanim
(merciful), bayshanim (modest), and gomelei hasadim
engaging in acts of loving-kindness).

Good Quotes

2010-07-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

Steven Weinberg: "I think that on the balance the moral influence of religion has been awful. With or without religion, good people can behave well and bad people can do evil. But for good people to do evil -- that takes religion."

Blaise Pascal: "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." This quote is often attributed to Sam J. Ervin, Jr. from his book: "Protecting the Constitution." (1984). But it was originally said many years before by Pascal.

Socrates: "The only good is knowledge. The only evil, ignorance."

Steven Weinberg:

"Any possible universe could be explained as the work of some sort of designer. Even a universe that is completely chaotic...could be supposed to have been designed by an idiot." 6

"Journalists generally have no bias toward one cosmological theory or another, but many have a natural preference for excitement."

2010-07-27T15:01:00.000-07:00

a God who hides things and changes things so that people can be "proved by faith" is a trickster and not worth worshipping.

2010-07-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

I've been following a little of the hoopla on the CA Prop h8 debate, and ran across some misinformation being spread by one of the Mormon leaders. See the following, especially the last bullet.

http://newsroom.lds.org/blog/2010/06/apostle-talks-religious-freedom-to-boston-youth.html

A Mormon member who writes gave a very good rebuttal to Nelson's talk...

http://wisdomlikeastone.com/01/07/same-sex-calling-bs/

Saying that allowing same sex civil marriages will destroy religions freedom is in my estimation is BS as Beal noted in his rebuttal.

Isn't it time to call BS on fundamentalist thinking?

Funny what we find in our briefcases

2010-06-30T20:48:00.001-07:00

So I was cleaning out the brief I used on my trip to Europe last year and found a PG Tips tea bag I had picked up from a B&B

The directions are funny

To Prepare the best cup of PG Tips

Brewing methods may vary, but we suggest

1. Use one bag per 250 ml of freshly boiled water.

2. Allow your customer to brew to their preferred strength (1-2 minutes as a guide) then remove the tea bag.

3. Always use fresh milk where possible. And there you have it, a delicious brew fit for a monkey.

Almost losing children

2010-06-18T22:48:00.000-07:00

My eldest son got himself in a boat load of trouble in the spring. A felony drug arrest. He was holding a pipe with pot in it. And then he failed most of his classes for the spring because of the stress of not knowing what was going to happen.

Unfortunately he believed his mother who had said a number of times that if he got himself in trouble she would leave him in jail. He thought that if he told us that we would disown him. I could never disown him. He was afraid and thought he would be completely on his own and we did not know until the summons came in May. He had better than two months of not knowing what would happen. If I had known I would have hired a lawyer right off the bat. Just to get him the help he needed early on. But no.

Our kids always need our help. I know that even as an adult with my own children that I asked my Dad for advice and help at times. That is what family is for.

I just hope to be around for a while longer. I had problems on my trip to Denver. Lots of shortness of breath. I am going to ask my cardiologist for surgical intervention. I'm ready. I can't live in the state I am in.

Vacations are great

2010-06-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

But also picking the best place to go is a good idea too. So I decided to go the Breckenridge, CO. Its over 9000 feet in elevation here and I'm not moving very well.

I hope my angina does not kick in. I'll have to be real careful. I brought my handicapped hanger with me just in case. Probably a good thing I did. Not overly tired right now. But will have to see how I feel at the end of tomorrow. I will be doing a lot of walking during the day.

The weather here is chilly and rainy right now. Supposed to clear up mid week.

2010-06-02T19:55:00.001-07:00

A religion that must hide things from its membership is not worth following and a God who hides things and changes things so that people can be "proved by faith" is a trickster and not worth worshiping.

2010-04-15T13:45:00.000-07:00

The pain this week is about unbearable. I really want one day feeling well.

Could barely get out of bed this morning but knew I had to get to the University to teach. Class helped me forget for a short bit but now all I want to do is lay on the floor. I have been getting more and more of a feeling that my heart is gonna give out. I'm afraid to plan a trip away from home because I feel so lousy.

I keep asking myself why? Why did this happen? Why can't I be well and go back to enjoying the things I used to enjoy?

Sometimes levity is very helpful.

2010-03-30T09:03:00.001-07:00

I was discussing proofs for God with some friends online and the following post came up with my answer to give a funny view.

CZ:

"Nothing changes itself. Apparently self-moving things, like animal bodies, are moved by desire or will—something other than mere molecules. "

This is, of course, untrue. If you want an example of molecules changing, concider the hydrogen inside the Sun being converted to helium. There are enormous-but-well-understood forces at work - mainly high temperature and pressure - which cause these molecules to change from one form to another. No desire, no will. That's just how molecules behave under those conditions. The same argument used to be made about lightning. What caused lightning? Must be the gods' wills! Once we understood static charges, the need for god simply vanished.

Oh CZ. You so misunderstand the way things work. The Hydrogen would not turn to helium without the Flying Spaghetti Monster touching each and every one with his (or is it her?) noodley appendage. Its like balls on a billiards table. Duh! It takes someone with the magical pool stick and a cue ball to get the balls going!

2010-03-05T07:44:00.000-08:00

Well its been a while since I posted anything here. I put up a few things on my poetry and prose page lately but not here.

The last few months have been a whirlwind. My younger son played freshman high school basketball. The poor guys lost every game. But they had fun and didn't get to down. They had a great coach. He did an amazing job just getting them to where they were at by the end of the season. They just didn't quite meld.

Health is still problematic. I'm now handicapped and don't like being restricted in activity. My heart is in bad shape. Circumflex artery is completely gone. I'm still able to teach fencing and fence a bit with the students. I still can give them a run for their money. But its tough and I fight angina and breathing problems every day. Gets depressing at times but class picks me back up. I put everything I have into it.

Time Heals?

2009-11-09T12:15:00.000-08:00

Some say that time heals. But does it really?

Could it be that we just become numb to the pain?

Relationships are very difficult.

Especially ones from afar where you can't hear a voice or see the body language.

Poetry

2009-11-03T15:43:00.001-08:00

I've started posting some poetry I've written. It can be found at gwypoetry.blogspot.com

2009-10-27T12:02:00.000-07:00

From a book I am writing. In talking of relationships I wrote the following:

"Wil sat down and neither of them had words at first. Its amazing the dead silence that one can feel even when music blares. They sat, drinks abandoned... Words unspoken... trusts, perhaps dreams laying in shards as a fine vase dropped."

How much life flows around us as we go through it? And then when its over, what do we have left?

What do we want to have at the end of life? Money? What is it really worth? Notoriety? Ho wlong will people remember? Love? Perhaps this is lasting.

A song from Evanescence called my immortal speaks to relationships too.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

Relationships are difficult. How do we keep them alive? How do we not let them dissolve into something without meaning and life?

I have students who I dearly love. I have taught them for years and one I am on the brink of losing. Which is very unfortunate. We used to talk a lot. Do lunch. Call. Text. And now hardly anything. How do you rebuild a relationship that was there and now isn't anymore?

2009-10-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

It is a puzzle sometimes trying to understand how we get from one point in our lives to the next. One day you are one way and hold a certain set of beliefs and then poof they are gone to be replaced by another after a life changing event in our lives.

Events of this nature have happened to me a number of times. tyhe most recent last spring when I saw Her. And now I am no longer a devotee of a sky god who is removed but a Goddess grounded in the oceans and world around us. I still have not completely taken her hand. When she calls finally I will leave this plane of existence and move on to the next.

Music has always been special for me. I use it and poetry to help me understand life and for me to describe how I feel.

One of the groups that I like to listen to is Lifehouse. These lyrics speak to the soul.

Everything

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

2009-10-20T08:10:00.001-07:00

I haven't had a dream in a long while where I died in the dream. Last night I had one.

I went down in a fiery crash at the Flagstaff Airport. Went into the trees and that was it.

What part of my life is chaging so much that I feel like I am dying? Or what the heck is this dream alluding to?

2009-10-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

Was going through old music the other day and ran across a song I had not heard in a long time. Its by a band called Toad the Wet Sprocket. Song is Walk on the ocean.

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everythings better, everythings safe
Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone
And half and hour later we packed up our things
We said wed send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed theyd already forgotten wed came

Now were back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people dont know you
And trust is a joke
We dont even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

2009-10-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

I was surfing today and found someone on the net that had an experience similar to mine. They wrote the following poem. It resonated with me.

"Come to me my child,
there is no reason to cry,
For in the darkest night,
I will show you the light.

From me rise and break the tides,
You don't have to travel for miles,
I have always been by your side.

Join me and you will forever smile,
For I will show you your might.

Come to me my child
I will greet you with arms open wide.
I will show you the light,
Together we will fly
Until your tears have all dried."

Washington Seminar

2009-10-02T04:59:00.000-07:00

Its about 5 in the morning and I am sitting int he Flagstaff Airport. I'm heading to Moses Lake Washington to teach a rapier seminar. The people will get the first public look at the manuscript. I will be teaching a little of the theory and some of the p;ractical sections from the treatise.

I'm glad I can still travel to teach. Angina is still a problem but is manageable. And my breathing sucks big time. After I get back I need to talk to the pulmunologist again and see what he suggests. It gets very old not feeling well most of the time. Luckily I sleep pretty sound.

Well its Oct 6th and I am back from the seminar. Things went very well. I presented new material that no one has seen before. The students really liked it. I then taught a mix of Fabris, Giganti and Capo Ferro for the rest of the weekend. They really enjoyed the drills and all. Unfortunately many during open fencing moved back to old habits and did not try to employ whatthey learned. I fenced a number of the students and although I got a little angina they were not able to score any good touches on me. And I scored a number of nice hits.

All in all, the weekend was wonderful. I was able to relax and forget about things even though I was busy teaching the whole time. Met some new people and saw some that I already knew. A lot of fun and brightened my life being able to go.

Ready

2009-09-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Quietly I sit. Thinking on the presence who bade me come.
Am I ready to accept? What would that mean to some?

So tired. Wishing for some relief from pain.
Physical, emotional, to find peace again.

Does accepting and taking her hand cast my lot?
A renewed life or a transfer out?

Peace in knowing I lived complete.
Loving children and friends. Those who have gone to meet?

Reaching out and waiting, Her hand to take.
At peace and knowing what might be at stake.

Shekhina

2009-09-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Before posting what I want to post today, I need to post this poem.

Music, playing soft. Mesmerizing, sensual yet spiritual.
How long had it been playing? Chords lifting, heart strings playing?
I had always been told that one cannot survive the presence spiritual.
I had given up praying.

But today was different. I had entered an ecstatic state.
Quiet, just the music playing. Yet I had come to hate God.
Why had I come here today? Trepidation filled, yet perhaps a touch of fate.
Can one moment actually change a person? What path would now be trod?

I opened my eyes and yet they were closed.
Light. Music fading into the background. Peace.
Was it a presence I sensed? What would be disclosed?
From what might I find a release?

Shekhina. Divine feminine. Is she who God really is?
Standing above. Reaching out. Beckoning.
A presence and psyche so different from His.
Asking with a mere look, hair flowing.

The smile, how could I say no?
Yet I stayed. I was not ready to go with deity.
And yet I knew the beckoning would go on
with or without piety.

Shedding old beliefs like worn skin.
Understanding that the true nature is acceptance and love.
How can one filled with hate let her in?
Awe struck as She disappeared above.

Losses

2009-09-24T13:58:00.000-07:00

What do you do when you grow apart form someone?

I have had students that I have been very close to over the years. Its very hard when one grows distant even before leaving the University. Having hopes and dreams for students get shattered at times when they stop dropping by or contacting.

The same is true with other friends. The loss of a friend or a loved one is very difficult. try as one can, sometimes it is inevitable and the distances just widen.

On a happier note, I was able to visit my son Rhys at college and spend the day with him. It was a lot of fun. I think we talked more that day even with going to a concert than we did in the months before he went off to college. I hope to foster an even closer bond with him now that he is gone than when he was home. Tieg, my younger son, just started high school. He is interested in playing basketball for the high school but will really need to push himself. He has the potential but just needs the self motivation. He also decided he wants to be a physical therapist. And work with sports related therapy. A good choice hopefully for him.

Samhain is almost here

2009-09-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

Samhain (pronounced Sow'in) is almost here. This time of year is a time to reflect on the past and to look toards what lies ahead. Modern folks in the US know this season as Halloween. But to the ancient Celts this was a season where the veil between this and the other world became thin and the dead could be seen and contacted.

In reflecting this morning on the problems in the world. It occured to me that many of todays problems can be attributed to religion and specifically male oriented and controlled religions such as Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Especially with Christianity and its view that this world is temporary (i.e. Jesus is gonna come and that is it), it is easy to take on a mindset that it doesn't matter what we do to the environment since its going to be transformed at his coming.

The ancient Celts, the American Indians, and other groups felt that the world must be cared for. That it was our responsibility to take care of our Mother Earth. How much better would we be off if everyone thought that way?

Back to Samhain. This is the season to think of what has been lost and of those that have gone before. I have lost much in my life. Love, opportunities, friends, and family members. It is hard to look back on some of the losses and not feel anger and even hatred. But what does that do to us as individuals? I believe it hurts us. But it is still difficult not to be angry or hold hate when hurts have been so extreme.

Walking out of darkness into light takes work.

2009-09-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

The night air is starting to chill. Classes have started and are going well. I'm teaching a full class of fencing students. Mostly new students.

Over the summer I found two new northern Italian fencing manuscripts. One is dated 1669. The other sounds like a late 16th century transitional sidesword to rapier manuscript. I'm in the process of reading thru and translating the transitional piece. Its very good. Has a lot of information and tons of practical drills.

Luckily even with the heart probs I can still teach. I am travelling to Oregon in Octoger to teach a rapier seminar. Have taught there before and always had a good weekend.

2009-09-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

Health can be such a tenuous thing.

Well, I lost an artery a short while back. A coronary artery. Its hard getting around right now. Just walking at the pace I used to produces angina. Sucks big time since I really like to exercise. hard to keep weight off too when not exercising.

Stress over the spring and summer can be attributed to the latest plug up of my circumflex artery. The doc says it is inoperable. And they don't want to go in and do openheart again as it may damage my mammary artery which is feeding part of the heart now.

So..... sort of screwed right now.

trip to Europe

2009-09-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

In June I was able to take a trip to Europe with my eldest son who graduated from high school and some other friends. To put it bluntly, the trip was phenomenal!

We flew British Airways (my favorite airline) into London Heathrow. We took very little luggage with us so we were able to easily take the tube to Kensington Station since we had a B&B right near there. We got in early enough to walk around a little. And we went to the Gloucester Arms pub for dinner and for our first pints. My son and Tara were the only ones under 21 but both over 18. Jenny and Christine both over 21. Poor jenny. She quickly got the name half pint as that is all she could handle. Most of us had hard cider with dinner. The next day we did a major walkabout. Saw the Thames, Buckingham Palace and a number of gardens.

Our next destination was Paris. We went thru the chunnel. Nice trip. Met a couple (well boss and his secretary) who bought us drinks. We entertained them. We came into the Nord train station which was right near the hotel we were staying in. A very seedy part of town. The next day we visited the Louvre and Notre Damn. Another big walkabout. Before the Louvre we visited an antiques shop that specialized in weaponry. We were able to handle all sorts of lovely pieces. I bought a small silver apple knife. Victorian era.

We then went on to Geneva. Unfortunately and also fortunately at the samr time we could not get a room in Geneva. We stayed in a little town called Devonne les Bains which was wonderful. Attended the Sunday all town market and also went to a local beach. French beaches are topless BTW. One of the girls decided to go native.

From geneva we went to Bologna. This was the highlight of my trip. I love Bologna. the architecture in Bologna is wonderful. Covered walkways are on either side of the street which makes walking outside nice. Bologna is hot in the summer. We saw the Two Towers, many museums, visited the University and walked a lot.

After Bologna we went back to London. We visited the British Library where we were able to handle some historical documents on fencing. We did a major walkbout each day. Including spending a good part of a day at the Portobello Market. We met friends of mine from Europe in London.

All in all a great trip!

New to blogger

2009-08-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd start blogging. Lots has happened in my life in the past number of years. I've moved past religion. Had major changes in health. Lost people that I loved dearly.

I'll be posting notes, stories, poetry and general events from my life here.

Love is the key to living. We all must have love to thrive. Whether it is a heterosexual couple or a gay couple, love is so important.

Along with love is the need to mend broken hearts. sometimes mending a broken heart takes time. And takes drastic measures. These measures are not easy but have to be done for the betterment of the person or people experiencing a broken heart. If your heart was broken, look inward and search for the good. Remember what made a love possible. A song comes to min by 3 Doors Down.

I think i've walked too close to love
And now i'm falling in
Theres so many things this weary soul can't take
Maybe you just caught me by surprise
The first time that i looked into your eyes

There's a life inside of me
That i can feel again
It's the only thing that takes me
Where i've never been
I don't care if i lost everything that i have known
It don't matter where i lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home
Feel like home

This life aint the fairy tale we both thought it would be
But i can see your smiling face as it's staring back at me
I know we both see these changes now
I know we both understand somehow

There's a life inside of me
That i can feel again
It's the only thing that takes me
Where i've never been
I don't care if i lost everything that i have known
It don't matter where i lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home
They feel like home
(hold on, you're home to me)

There's a life inside of me
That i can feel again
It's the only thing that takes me
Where i've never been
I don't care if i lost everything that i have known
It don't matter where i lay my head tonight
Your arms feel like home
They feel like home

Find the one who will make you feel like home. This is so important. And let go of the hurt and let the wounds heal.